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How we grasp and long for anything that lasts! Not fixed - the horrific cousin to lasting; the stale madness of repetition - but lasting, stability. And how few things in life offer it! We strive for anything that makes any sort of promise at all, and stick our talons into it, wrap our lips around it like a baby at a mother's breast. And yet, as if God Himself were set against us finding something lasting (and why on earth shouldn't He?) everything that looks stable flounders, tilts, wobbles, and eventually explodes - like wine glasses at the opera.
The thing I want most to last right now seems to be running low on fuel, perhaps puttering to a halt - and then, nothingness. If I've endured anything more difficult, I don't remember it. The hope is that there is something here that I'll remember later on - 'forever' is a term for the great life to come. Here, it is a whisper, a 'maybe,' a hoping against hope. In the meantime, there is something to be said for delaying your happiness, to abstain from what you could acquire, to cultivate a sense of longing.
More on that later. For now, I am tired and sad. If you pray, pray for me. Thank-you.

an introduction to the transient.

for starters, there are 86,400 seconds in every day. it will take you approximately 120 of those to read this. and, like eating jelly beans, that adds up. time is the only currency that G-d saw fit to divvy out to everybody from the get-go, although He gave you, me, and everyone a dramatically different allowance of it. so, there's no significant reason to believe that this won't be one of the last things you do before your bucket of allotted seconds runs dry. just saying. if you have kids, go play with them. if you have a husband or a wife, go make whoopee. if you have parents, call them. if you have five bucks, go spend it on something fun. if, completing that, you find that you're still sucking oxygen, then come back - this'll still be here.

and me, i'm the terrestrial transient. i've made it a point to lay down few roots here, having been told by reliable sources that moth and rust destroy what does take root. in essence, heaven lasts; this doesn't. heaven is solid, real, hard. earth is flimsy, transparent, sand-through-the-fingers stuff. if i do anything with this blog - doubtful, in and of itself - then it'll be to talk about releasing our frantic hold on the insubstantial things of life and living for what G-d offers in the infinite.

day coming when G-d's gonna suck the death and impermanence out of every thing you've ever seen and good many you haven't. then, finally, morning and the real. the dream will be ended. the term will be over. we'll be done with the title page, and onto chapter 1. and this transient will finally have a place to call 'home.'

-terrestrial transient.